I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
