At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
