Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
