dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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