This dress was meant to end up on your floor
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
