i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
