mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
