I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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