i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
