One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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