look no pants
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision