Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman