Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
