I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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