Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
