do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
