He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Randomize
