Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize