I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
