i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
