Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
