My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
