John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
