I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
