So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
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She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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