already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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