So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize