After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We are two peas in an std pod
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
