First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize