You made me cry and you don't even care
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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