I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
