I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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