she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
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Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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