It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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