I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
