The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
