The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
