Me too!
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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