sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
