Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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