Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
