eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
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It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
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