you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm way too hungover for life right now
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
