If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
