get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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