Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
