i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
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Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
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New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
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