So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
