We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
