Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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