If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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