something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
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