if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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