I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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