So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
