Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He? As in you personified your dick?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
