dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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