she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
tell me about the eggs
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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