I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
