shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
