dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
