If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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